Hi mr thieving robber

Dear Mr Robber,

Hi there. How are you keeping since you drop by? I truly hope that you are enjoying urself with all the things that you so casually took during your short but significant time in my home.

I'm assuming that you took quite awhile disfiguring the locks and padlocks on the wooden and stainless steel door. I'm sure you faced quite a challenge with the latter. Sorry for the inconvenience. If I would have known earlier, I probably would have left it open so you could just walk in. Then it would save me from fixing the doors. Also you wouldn't need to climb over the gate with your long sleeved shirt. No wonder you switched on the fan. With the climbing and all you must have been feeling the heat.

But I have to ask you, whatever happened to poor Pepper? Did you charm her into a zombie-like state? Dad would so want to believe that. Though I feel that silly Pepper was too frightened to do anything.

So, did you have an enjoyable looting session? The police identified you as the 'pillow-case' gang, evident with two missing pillow-cases from both rooms. Perhaps that was why you left behind the big stuff - too big to fit into them pillow-cases. Yes, I must thank you for not taking the desktop, printer, tv, radio etc. And it was very thoughful of you to leave behind my one-year old Coolpix S500 and Zire72. But why must you must take my 3month-old Inspiron 1420? I guess it was my fault to place it so conveniently for you to see. You even managed to grab the laptop bag. How nice. But I'm not sure if the laptop would be of any use to you. You might not be able to switch it on. Or worse you might attempt to call Dell for assistance. But knowing your kind of people, I doubt it. Your type are very resourceful so I am sure you would be able to make full use of it. Lucky you.

And imagine all the money you would make with the gold. You could really give yourself and dear family a treat. Go on a holiday perhaps? Also all those crystal accessories! Now how am I gonna find the same little tourmaline bracelet, with the perfect colour and size? Never. Plus I don't think I would ever visit Yangoon again! And whatever you would want with my hairbands? You took everything except for a plain black one! How thoughtful. Are they for your little girl? Also all my nice old purses and wallets.. I doubt I would be able to stumble upon those old Msian notes again.

Well dear sir, I guess you're not much of a drinker. You didn't take any of the liquor bottles except for one. But then again, they were all already opened. You go for the unopened ones.. yes, like the bottle of Dom that you took (which was a gift from a dear friend for my confinement), that was still nicely sitting in the box. I doubt you would sell it as it was only one box. Perhaps your wifey just delivered or you could be keeping it for future use. Or you could even gift it to some relatives or friends. Yes, that would indeed be useful. Err.. but you missed out the box of liquor beside the stack of old newspapers. Or was it too heavy for you?

I guess time was your enemy then as you did not manage to rummage through the last room. Which was rather unfortunate as you would definitely find more stuff that suits your fancy. Well then sir, I'm really grateful that you chose to come when we were all out so to avoid any nasty confrontations. Next time do gimme a buzz so that I could prepare for your grand arrival with perhaps the red carpet?

Yours Sincerely...